That’s right, I set a new course record at the Southern Shuffle 5K last night. Not a personal course record, an overall course record. Given my previous times I’ve posted here over the last 10 months, that may be hard to believe.
I am now the course record holder for overall fastest time for anyone wearing a giant parrot suit. Really. And no, costumes were not required, suggested or even recommended for the course.
Four hours before the race my brother-in-law comes into the house and says, “Hey, I’ve still got these old parrot costumes, want to wear them?”
I say sure and minutes later my mother-in-law is hemming the tail so I don’t trip over it running. When we show up at the race, our outfits are a hit.

That’s Mrs. Fitnessgeek posing with her feathered husband after the run. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be photographed with such a studly looking bird, but she was a good sport. The suits looked great. However, we were burning up, even in the 45 degree cold. To make matters worse, the course is not well lit.
This should be fun. The horn goes off and we race out. My brother-in-law is on my tail, literally. Behind us we hear, “Those parrots really can run!” and “I don’t want to be beat by a parrot.”
Almost instantly I’m overheating. At the half mile mark I push the parrot head back. I’m sweating something fierce. But I’m up toward the front and flying fast (last pun, maybe). My first mile is a fast 7:40, but I’m starting to tire. Foam bird suits are not made for running.
Two miles in and I’m just over 16 minutes. I grab a cup of water and toss it over my head. I’m still burning up, but it helps. The closer I get to the finish, the more I can hear the cheers. I’ve been battling another runner for the last half mile, and I finally pass him just a 100 feet before the finish line.
The clock reads “25:05.”
Not bad for a parrot suit, right? As soon as I’m done Mrs. Fitnessgeek comes over and takes a few photos.

I’m the one on the left with the regulation size shorts. My fellow parrot finishes at 27 minutes. In my age group I’m 6th out of 10-12 runners. Not too bad for a parrot. I did however finish first in the parrot division!
Overall it was an absolute blast. We had people congratulating us and shaking our hands the rest of the night. It’s fun to race hard, but it turns out it’s more fun to do it as a tropical bird. Who knew?

By the way, the shins felt great, but I’m sore today just from running at such a good clip. Also, Mrs. Fitnessgeek set her own record at the race. More on that tomorrow!